30-05-2008, 11:06 AM
The IT Husband Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.
Husband :(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife : Have you brought the grocery?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morning
Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife :What about my new TV?
Husband : Variable not found ,
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied,
Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband :Too many parameters ,
Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife :You are useless.
Husband :It's by Default.
Wife :What about your Salary?
Husband :File in use , Try after some time.
Wife :What is my value in the family.
Husband :Unknown Virus.
Custody
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"
Vampire Attack
Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”
Planting Flowers
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”
Husband :(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife : Have you brought the grocery?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morning
Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife :What about my new TV?
Husband : Variable not found ,
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied,
Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband :Too many parameters ,
Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife :You are useless.
Husband :It's by Default.
Wife :What about your Salary?
Husband :File in use , Try after some time.
Wife :What is my value in the family.
Husband :Unknown Virus.
Custody
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"
Vampire Attack
Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”
Planting Flowers
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”